Forgive me if this blithers a bit.....

I've been keeping a little secret...that all started with the little walk I took out to Rekkevik and the silly little note I left hoping to make contact and find family...that very evening I had a response! I got an email from a man named Kai, who said he was the husband of my 3rd cousin once removed, Marthe (Tolstrup) Strøem. It turns out that the houses I found belong to descendants of Paul Hermann Tolstrup – Magnus’s youngest brother and the only one who stayed in Norway. Over an exchange of emails, Kai and I made arrangements for me to come out to Rekkevik again - but this time to meet the family. He told me that he'd read my blog and was surprised to see a picture of his house! (theirs is the big house I photographed -brand new, actually – but built in a traditional style). The little house next door belongs to Ruth Eli Tolstrup, born in 1920, the youngest daughter of Paul Hermann – which would make her my mother's age, but my grandfather's 1st cousin. She is the oldest living relative on that side of the family and keeper of all the family stories, photos, papers and memories. Kai wrote to me that Ruth wanted to find some old photos to show me and also wanted to get someone to come during my visit to act as translator – as I can’t yet speak Norwegian and she doesn’t speak any English. Arrangements were made for me to come to meet Ruth at her house on Friday at 4:30pm and then we’d all have dinner at Kai and Marthe’s house at 6. I could barely contain my excitement.

When Friday arrived I suddenly wished I'd expected rather than hoped to meet family, because I would have brought wonderful gifts from Australia gifts for everyone. But I hadn't - I guess I just hoped, but never really thought it would happen...or failed to realise that when it happened it would feel so important. So instead, I asked Elisabeth (my lovely B&B hostess) what would be customary and/or appropriate to bring. She suggested flowers, so I went off to a shop she suggested named Himmelen (Heaven) around the corner (I can't remember the rest of the Norwegian)..

At about 3:30 I headed off again on the4k trek to Rekkevik and as I turned onto Tolstrupveien the whole neighbourhood was out doing yardwork and everyone smiled at and greeted me as I passed - clearly, word had gotten around that that weirdo who 2 days prior walked up and down the street photographing her shoes was family and coming for a visit. It felt nice...I already felt welcome.I knocked on the door and Ruth answered. Kari, who is her neice and daughter of another of Paul's children, Rakel, (mentioned on that infamous scrap of paper, Dave) was also there. We started to chat and at first they were most curious to know about people in some photos they had from America. Mostly they were Magnus and Louise, Harriet and Doris - there were none of anybody I knew very well - Nana and Grampa, Mum or Uncle David. I really wished I could have told them more, but I didn't know all that much. One picture, though,- looked like it might have been taken on front steps of 44 Noble St. I asked Kari about Paul Hermann's descendants and she told me he had 10 (!) children - Paul born in 1910, Waldemar, 1912, Dagmar 1913 - 1958, Borghild 1915-18, Grethe 1918, Rakel 1920 -1987, Hangry 1922 - 1989, Magnus 1925 - 1982, Marthe 1927 -1993 and Ruth Eli. (Don't worry Dave, I have more specific details about spouses and children, too). Then, Ruth brought out some more photos and some letters: These were photos of Magnus and Louise - probably when they were first married and one of Mathias as an older man. But the letter! It was from Magnus to Paul, dated Oct 1888 (about 3 1/2 months after he arrived in Boston)! Kari translated it and it told about his voyage (particularly about the food), commnted on news about a neighbour, gave advice for Valdemar's journey (So Magnus must have gone first, after all) and tells a bit about his new life. He also talks about sending home money - so he must have trid to help the family as he could. I knew David would be desperate to see it - and even felt a little guilty that I was getting to see it without him...so I asked if I could photograph the photos and letter. So, here they are Dave...especially for you.

After a while, Kari asked me if I'd like to go to the Tjølling Kirke to see where Paul Hermann, his wife Hanna and their sons Hangry and Magnus (and as it turns out, Magnus and Grethe Nikoline, as well) are buried. Tjølling had been a place I had really wanted to visit and so said yes and of we went. As we were driving we talked more and I asked Kari if Magnus had ever lived in Tjølling (as the records seemed t say) she said no - always Rekkevik, but had gone to church in Tjølling, so that's why he's sometimes listed there. It seemed a long way - they used to walk it every Sunday - but Kari said they had no doubt cut through the fields and taken a much more direct route. The church was quite stunning - it dates, I think to the 11th century - which is kind of hard to fathom when you grow up in the US or Australia. I took some photos and we headed back. Ruth then brought out some old papers - shipping manifests, crew lists, commissions and provision lists for ships Magnus captained. She had an amazing amount of stuff - but she saved the best for last: when they started to build Marthe and Kai's and Ruth's new houses, they tore down the old house that had stood between them. Under the floorboards they found an old school lesson book belonging toKristen Tolstrup, dated 1765 and referencing Salling (an old term for Denmark)! Yes Dave...here are the pictures. I really couldn't imagine the visit getting any better... Then it was on to Marthe and Kai's house for dinner. Elin (Ruth's daughter, Marthe's mother and my 2nd cousin once removed?) and her husband Bjørn and Marthe and Kai's 2 children Emil (6 and about to start school!) and Emma 2 were waiting. I introduced myself all around and Elin asked what had brought me to Larvik and I said, I came to find all of you. Then she asked how I'd found them and I said that Dave had told me the family came from Rekkevik, so I looked on google maps to find Rekkevik and saw there was a street named Tolstrupveien...and figured it was a good place to start...then when I saw the mailbox with Magnus Tolstrup on it....I had to leave a note. She seemed flabberghasted and in fact asked me a couple more ties over the course of the evening if I'd really only come there to find them and if I'd really found them by walking down their street...the answer was always 'yes' and she'd get this big grin, shake her head and look pretty amazed (I'm pretty amazed, too!) The evening was fantastic...warm and connected. I could sense a growing interest in some of the others - especially Kari - about the family history and I showed then the work Dave has done on Ancestry.com.

All too soon, it was 11pm and time to say goodbye...Marthe and I both took some photos..so here, Boston Tolstrups is your Larvik family...

Kari and Elin

Ruth EliMarthe, Kai and Emma (Hei Kai and Marthe, I need good photos of Marthe's father and Emil!)So Larvik family, if you read this... I'm just so grateful that I've had the chance to meet you. Thank you for your kindness, your interest and warmth. I promise to keep in touch and I'll be in Boston at the end of August - so keep a look out - I'll be posting photos of the Boston Tolstrups soon!

A fortuitous meeting, not exactly by chance

I met a lovely woman today who I feel I was destined to meet. You never know about these things, but during my preparations for travel to Larvik, I found her website and was quite taken with some of her art. Her name is Grete Lis Bibalo - and Grete, I hope you don't mind if I mention you here and talk about our conversation and your work. (If you do mind, you can let me know and I'll remove this post).I found Grete's work to be very silent and powerful: it spoke to me about time - the milennia as experienced by stone and how it comes to be where it is; how it becomes worn and grooved; how it waits. So, I wrote to Grete - months ago now - telling her what I saw in her work and saying that I would be in Larvik in August and would like to have the chance to meet and speak with her. I hoped for a reply, but didn't really expect one - it's never a given that emails will reach their destnation in anything resembling a timely fashion. But a few weeks later she did reply, despite the fact that she had only recently lost her mother. She thanked me for my comments and explained that she was still coping with other illness in the family. She said that she would like to meet, but that she wasn't sure what her situation would be in August and so couldn't make a definite plan. She asked me to call her once I was in Larvik and so, yesterday, I did.

When I called, she told me that her husband, the composer Antonio Bibalo, with whom she had been very close, had only recently died (in early July) and that she had (quite understandably) not been very social of late. I offered her an out, saying that I planned to be back next year and that our meeting would keep until then, but she seemed to want to meet wih me anyway and so made arrangements to come today at midday.

The meeting felt, in so many ways like one of those that was absolutely meant to happen. Grete felt quite fragile and raw to me from the moment we met, but was clearly curious to know more about this odd woman who had written her from the other side of the world. We talked about everything - life, death, art, loss, joy, sorrow, the sacred, her work, my work, her husband, my son, hope, music, what it means to live life as a woman, what it means to be an artist in an unartistic world - and as we talked, I could feel some of her sadness lift, some of her hope and a sense of future return, if only for the afternoon.

All I can say is that our meeting felt blessed. Thank you, Grete for spending the afternoon with me. It was, in all ways, a pleasure.

A stone for Magnus

The whispering stone I picked up in Rekkevik for Magnus
Intuitively it has felt as though part of what I need to do with this work I've undertaken is to reconnect Magnus with home and by doing so it will create a bridge for all of us to able to cross back and forth - through time and space - to each other. Somehow, the way to achieve this seemed obvious. All I'd need to do would be to bring a stone from Rekkevik - his home - to place on Magnus' grave in Malden. I was hoping to find the right rock...and this one whispered to me as I passed. I picked it up and it fit my hand perfectly.

I think, too, I may eventually place scribed stones as trailmarkers and gathering points of a sort to mark the way for all of us - both our living relatives and the spirits of our ancestors - to find the way to each other.

I'm not entirely sure why stone seemed the clear medium for this - but it's been obvious from the outset of this work and all further discovery has confirmed the choice: I keep uncovering more and more examples of people across time and around the globe who have used stone as a way to mark sacred space and/or leave messages for their ancestors. It also came to light that Larvik is world famous for a unique type of granite called Larvikitt. And finally - and possibly most important - the revelation that the Tolstrup farm in Rekkevik is surrounded by and is seemingly cut into giant outcroppings of granite. Now I know: the stone I bring to Magnus will remind him of home.

So I will bring him this piece and I'll bring some Larvikitt for my dear Uncle Dave.

Some old photos of Larvik from the Larvik Museum

1665 Map of Larvik

1783 Watercolour - Ships sailing into Larvik
Dampskipbryggene Larvik 1820

Tollerodden, Larvik 1850 Larvik Harbour 1855
The following 4 photos are from 1877 -1885

Larvik 1893

And one just for Max

When he was in his early teens, my dear darling boy conjured up a fantasy character name...Greven...which, as far as he knew, he'd made up. Imagine his (and my) surprise when I discovered a Hotel Greven in Larvik! Not only Hotel Greven, but Greven-this and Greven-that. There are Grevens (and greves) all over the place!Turns out that Count Ulrik Frederik Gyldenløve otherwise (and mysteriously) known as Greven Gyldenløve (golden lion) was (I think) brother to the Danish king and sent to Larvik in the 17th century to rule the place. I guess we shouldn't have been surprised: Max always has had a kind of uncanny sense for and knowledge of his medieval past. So these photos are for you, my Max - I hope they remind you of more chivalrous times.

And finally, how odd that this play is only on the week that I'm here - I'm thinking that even though I won't understand a word, I should go see it!

Some Norwegian graffiti for Shaz

I honestly didn't see this graffiti at first - I'm so caught up in the loveliness of everything, here. I find it all enchanting. The experience reminds me of my first trip to Bali when all I saw was beauty - the sculpture, the temples, the colours, the people, the flowers. I didn't see the garbage-clogged ditches until my second trip, 4 months later and thought, "How odd that so much litter has collected in so short a time!" (yes, I do believe I am the original Pollyanna)

Anyway, I was actually photographing the lovely (there's that word again) vines hanging over the fence..and only realised the graffiti was there after I'd started to walk away. So, I went back and took proper photos - this time, of graffiti, not vines...and this one's for you, Sharon...Norwegian graffiti for your collection. Now, if I find a Wandjina here (or it's equivalent), I'll be really excited!

Overwhelmed, gratified, grateful and very tired

A truly extraordinary, gratifying, enlightening and almost overwhelming day. I can barely gather my thoughts -so much transpired. I will, however, share some facts - in fairness to Dave who has inspired/directed so much of my search. I have definitive answers to a number of your questions, plus some additional info we didn't have before. I also have photocopied entries for everything from the Hedrum Bygdebok (1913) and the Tjølling Bygdebok (1915) both by Lorens Berg who is considered THE authority on local history.

Here goes:

Kristen Tolstrup was a kind of high-level secretary for the ironworks at Hagnes (north of Hedrum and a sort of subsidiary of the Larvik ironworks). He died in 1830 at the age of 77 and was married to Mari Mattisdatter Skoli, who died in 1857, age 75. About Kristen's origins, the Hedrum Bygdebok entry says: "Han var Dansk (fra landsbyen Tolstrup ved Aalborg)"

Kristen and Mari's children are listed as:

1. Line Magreta Tolstrup g. m. Hans Ivarssøn Hagnes

2. Kristen Tolstrup, blev sjømand, døde i 24 aars alder

3. Mattis Tolstrup, blev skipper, bodde i Rekkevik i Tjøllng

4. Maren Petrine Tolstrup, g. m. Jakob Hanssøn

5. Else Katrine Tolstrup, egtet Ivar Nilssøn Gunnerød

Kristen also had another son - before he married Mari - apparently illegitimate, named Per Tolstrup who wrote a book about his life in 1855 (I'm going to see if I can track it down)

The entry reads: "- Hammerskriver Tolstrup hadde før han indgik egteskap sønnen Per Tolstrup, sjømand og skipper. Efter at ha faret tilsjøs i 50 aar bodde han som gammel ungkar fra 1855 av paa Hagnes. Han har skildret sit sjømansliv i en godt skreven liten bok: Peder Christensen's Levnetsbeskrivelse, forfattet af ham selv, efter i 50 Aar at have faret tilsøes fra Skibsdreng og til Skibsfører. Laurvig 1855"

Aine suggested that I visit the Hedrum Historielag - where I can find out more. She also says that it's very possible that because Kristen was a high-level employee, there's probably a lot of information recorded about him - including his date of arrival in Norway. She also says that Danish records are very good and that we should be able to trace his line back further now that we know where to look. She also said that Mattis was a ship's captain and, that being the case, there are likely to be records about the ships he sailed.

There's much more, Dave...but the rest will have to wait until I see you and/or can gather my wits.

So, meanwhile, and after such an amazing few hours of discovery, I felt inspired to walk out to Rekkevik to Tolstrupveien to see what else I could find.

First off, it felt pretty otherworldly to actually walk down a road called Tjøllingveien, to pass signs for Tjølling, Rekkevik, Kaupang (we had to get some Viking stuff in here) and then to arrive at Tolstrupveien. The areas I passed on the way were all pretty modern (I'd say even post 1960), so I was hoping against hope that at least some sense of the original lay of the land would still be apparent.

Then, there, off to the right and winding slightly up a hill, was Tolstrupveien. Large granite cliffs loom over one side of the street and the houses, for the most part, seemed turn-of-the-century at the earliest. Up ahead, I saw a house that looked to be - perhaps - the original Tolstrup farm - which turned out to be two houses, side by side built high above the road and to be built, almost, out of the cliff face.
As I was looking around and taking photos of absolutely everything - trees, rocks, dirt, bugs, thistle, the sky, my shoes - (the neighbours must have thought I was nuts), I suddenly noticed the name on the mailbox - MAGNUS TOLSTRUP!

Honestly, I started to hyper-ventilate and almost didn't know what to do. I kind of walked back and forth - up and down the street - for a while, but couldn't make myself leave, so decided finally that as odd as it might be to have a stranger knock on your door claiming to be a (potential) long-lost cousin, I had to knock. Unfortunately, no one was about and though both houses looked clearly inhabited, they were also both undergoing renovation work - and seemed to be missing porches, stairs and/or any other clear points of entry. As I was looking around, a fist-sized rock grabbed my attention, so I picked it up. It occurs to me that maybe it's the one I'll bring with me to Malden to reconnect Magnus with home.

Again, I started to leave, but couldn't quite make myself go - so, I sat down and wrote a (babbling, blithering) note to the house's inhabitants, telling them who I was, who my relations are & asking them to contact me if they are family and are interested. For now, other than camping in their yard, I guess it's all I can do.

Walking away I felt sad; felt some sort of loss...I guess some part of me thought that Mattis would be waiting for me there.

And, by the way, the name of the first photo is "Pilgrimage shoes on Tolstrupveien, Rekkevik, Norway (and the pilgrim in tears)".